


Bullet to the Face

by ArynjaT



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, Abuse, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Madness, Mental Health Issues, School Shootings, psychiatry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-10-19 11:56:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArynjaT/pseuds/ArynjaT
Summary: An alternative Universe story in which John Murphy goes on a school shooting and gets sentenced to be locked in a psychiatric ward.





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> My native language isn't english, so excuse errors. Song to this chapter:  
> Placebo - Infrared  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg3PusV3DTc

Today was the day. Today they all would pay, for every wound they had caused. Every name they called him. Every shove, every punch, all those cruel little mind games they had played with him. There was only so much a single human could take and he had reached his limit years ago. Gently he let his fingers play with the handle of the Desert Eagle he had acquired through the Dark Net. He never had felt so powerful before and his gun – he had named it Clara - was beautiful. Those sharp lines, the shiny silver and the weight of the weapon in his hand, it was exciting, it made him feel strong.

 

He left a single kiss on the metal part of the gun. There was no way back now, he had entered school grounds. The school building had three floors. On the lower floor there was a big concert room and the classes for music and art. On the second floor was where they taught natural sciences and on the top floor was where they learned social sciences. It didn‘t really matter where he went first. Because it didn‘t really matter who he killed first, the whole world had forsaken him and he would make someone pay. And thus John Murphy made his way into the building having his gun in a firm grip. He headed directly towards one of the music classrooms opening the door in an energetic motion and pointing the weapon at the first person he saw, Miss Newman. Murphy knew her, she taught him in biology. He had to grin as she twitched, obvious shock in her expression, that soon transformed into fear as she got a grasp of what was going on.

 

„Hello, Hello...“, he grinned and aimed right between her eyes. The girls and some of the boys in the classroom screamed. „Shut up!“, he moved his aim towards the classroom, resulting in kids ducking under the table, „Patience, you all will get a piece of me...“, he meant it, he wanted to shoot all of them, even tho they weren‘t even in his class. Murphy didn‘t care, instead he chuckled and moved his aim back to Mrs. Newman, who still stood there frozen. „Sit down!“, he ordered her gesturing with his gun to the chair standing infront of the chalkboard. „John, stop please!“, the teacher finally directed her words at him, while she followed his orders. „Stawp...“, he mocked her with a screechy voice, „You all brought this onto you. Fuck this world, fuck humanity.“, he huffed and finally shot. He only hit the leg of the chair, but the students, who by now had vanished under their tables screamed again. Some of them were calling for help.

 

„Shut up I said!“, he aimlessly let two shots fly at the school tables, hitting a girls leg in the process. Once again screams were the result and Murphy let out a deep sigh. „You may think I‘m a psychopath, but it was you who made me do this. All of you.“, he started moving the nozzle of the gun from left to right „John, I heard your mom had sex with the school director. John, how‘s daddy doing in prison, he already become someones bitch? Nobody wants you in this class John, fuck off...“, he spoke words that had been directed at him at the past. Then the aim travelled back to the teacher, „No wonder you are so bad in school, with a useless drunkard mom like yours, John.“

 

He cackled, the whole situation felt surreal, he wished all of them crying, sobbing, screaming insects were dead, he wanted to kill them. Why could he not bring himself to make a deadly shot? Perhaps he was a coward after all. Why was he hesitating? He hated them, all of them. He let another shot escape his gun, it hit the lamp, causing hundreds of splitters fall to the ground. „Fuck you all, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU!“, he shouted at them, before turning around to run . How embarassing, he had only wounded a girl he didn‘t even know. It had been all so glorious in his plan, but still he had failed. He couldn‘t even do going crazy right.

 

All those months of planning, they had been for naught. As he escaped the school building he just wanted to run and never come back. But just as he passed the door, he felt something heavy hitting his head, making him stumble. Right, the school had guards too. He had wanted to shoot them as well, he had wanted so many things. _‚Failure.‘_ , before he passed out he heard the voice of his mother in his head.

 


	2. Swamped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song to this chapter: Lacuna Coil - Swamped  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMDI2G9CMsY

He was taken by confusion when he opened his eyes. For the first few moments, he didn‘t even remember what had happened before he fell unconcious. Where was he? The ceiling he was staring at wasn‘t the one of his room, it was much too sterile for that. But the realization where he must be hit him, when he started to feel the drumming pain in his head. He definitly wasn‘t dead, the way he had planned it. Instead he was probably in a jail cell. As he sat up to confirm his thought, he groaned, as the pain in his head intensified. „ Stupid head...“, he muttered, and tried to bring one hand to his temple just to realize that both of his hands were cuffed  behind his back .

 

He was sitting on a simple bed inside a dimly lit room. The only other furnitures he could see were a steel toilet and a basin on the opposite side of the room. The cell door was heavy and made from steel with only a tiny window, that let a shine of bright hallway light enter. Murphy felt cold and he wasn‘t sure if that was a case of low temperature or the atmosphere of his cell. He didn‘t like it in here, not at all, but that probably was one of the goals of a jail cell. It‘s purpose was to scare petty criminals in order to keep them from becoming the next Big Shot. Of course Murphy already had commited a rather big crime, still he was not at all feeling at home here. Slowly he left his bed and moved towards the door. „Hello, is anybody out there?“, he was sure if anyone was outside of this room they wouldn‘t really be nice to him, not after what he did. But he honestly disliked this place, so he rather wanted to deal with cops than be alone.

 

„You‘re awake!“, to his relieve he got an answer rather soon after he had spoken his words. A moment later the door opened. Murphy froze as he saw the nozzle of a Glock pointed at him, the cop who was holding it was blurring in his vision. Psychopath or not, he was just seventeen and never before had anyone pointed a weapon at him. Was this how he had made Mrs. Newman feel? He didn‘t regret it, she deserved it. „Turn around“, the man spoke while he slowly approached him. As he pulled his eyes away from the gun to eye the cops face he saw a middle-aged man, bald, black, with a serious expression on his face. He was quite intimidating and Murphy did what was told him. „Good.“, the cop walked closer then used his left hand to grab the boy by the handcuffs, while pressing the barrel of his gun against the back of his head.

 

Murphy gasp, he didn‘t expect that, cops usually didn‘t point their guns at people his age, did they? „How does it feel, asshole?“, he heard the deep and growling voice of the adult and only tensed more. „ This is what it feels to be powerless. Say hello to your future, kid.“, the man grunted before slowly pulling his gun away from Murphys head, who started to shiver immediatly as the tension eased just a little bit. „You won‘t die. Not today anyways.“, the man forcefully shoved Murphy into a sitting position on the bed. „If it were for me, I would shoot you right here. But the judge decided, that you will be moved to the psyche ward, tomorrow. You will stay there until your trial starts.“ 

 

Murphy faced the man as he was speaking to him, his posture alone was enough to attain respect, but the gun underlined it nicely. Psyche Ward? So they really thought he was a psychopath. He couldn‘t blame them really. Most people hadn‘t been through the things, he went through. They were living in their perfect world, they had a family and people who cared for them. How could they understand what he was feeling?  Perhaps someone in psyche ward knew. Murphy had to shake his head at that ridiculous thought. He didn‘t believe, that any of those psychiatrists really had a clue about what they were saying. They told you stories, trying to seem important, while taking money from you or the state. He had seen a psychiatrist before, when he wanted them to help his mother, but the only way they really helped was by taking the money his mom normally used to buy alcohol.

 

As the cop left the room with a huff, locking the door behind him, Murphy was left alone again. His head was still aching and all he could really do was to lay down on the bed and think. They wanted to put him on trial, so perhaps he would die in the end. After all this state still had the death penalty. Then again, he probably didn‘t do enough yet to deserve the honor.  Also he was simply too young. Judges usually were more lenient with teenagers. 

 

What shocked him was the numbness he was feeling. He was  still not happy. What would he need to do to finally feel satisfied? He had tried to eliminate his problems, but when he had been standing infront of the classroom, it had not really felt like he had imagined it would. There had been no satisfaction, no sign of a final relieve. Of course they all had deserved  to die , but the shots  he fired did not make Murphy feel any better. Quite the opposite,  infact he felt as lost as never before. It was eating his nerves, he couldn‘t sleep like this, even tho he felt tired. Thinking didn‘t make it any better either, but he just couldn‘t stop. „Mom...“, he mumbled,  because  he was missing her.  N ot his current mother, but the one he had lost to alcohol years ago, when his father was put into prison. The mother who loved him no matter what,  who would have gone through fire for him. The longer he thought about it the more tears were collecting in his eyes. He didn‘t want to cry, but he just couldn‘t stop it. The only good thing was, that crying was exhausting and finally let him fall into a slumber. 

 

-

 

„Wake up!“, Murphy felt a sting in his head, when the harsh words of the guard pulled him out of a sleep, which had been much too short. His cell had no windows, but Murphy assumed some time had passed, because the guard standing in the room wasn‘t the same one who had been in his cell before he slept. The hallway behind the guard was brightened by sunlight, which made him assumed it was daytime. „Your taxi is here!“, the man approached Murphy and grabbed him by his cuffs, pulling him into a standing position. It hurt lightly, but he didn‘t make a sound, instead he just furrowed his brows lightly as the man started to guide him out into the hallway.

 

For a moment he was blinded by the sunlight. Then his eyes adjusted to the brightness, and he noticed another cop wearing a helmet and a gun waiting outside. If they had thought he would attempt to flee they were wrong tho. Murphy knew that running was useless, there were security measures in place, that did perhaps not make escaping impossible, but at least highly unlikely. The best option was to cooperate and so he allowed the cops to lead him to the outside at gunpoint. For a moment he looked around to see if anyone had come to see him. But he wasn‘t surprised to see, that none of his family was here. He sighed.

 

In the light of the spring sun he saw a police bus standing on the side of the street with an open door. They were approaching it quickly, which made him realize, that this was what the cop had called his taxi. „Get in.“, the adult guiding him was quite short-spoken as he pushed Murphy into the backseat of the vehicle, before closing and locking the door. A moment later the same cop entered the front of the vehicle, which was separated by bars from the back. „So where are you bringing me?“, Murphy finally uppered his voice as curiousity got the better of him. He knew he was being brought to a psyche ward, but he wanted to know exactly which one would be his new home. „Pennhurst.“, the cop in the front seat chuckled and snorted as if he had made a brilliant joke. „I don‘t get it...“, Murphy mumbled and really he didn‘t. He had never heard of Pennhurst, nor did he realize that the cop had not been serious. After all he didn‘t have the largest collection of general knownledge. Infact he knew quite little compared to other young men and women his age. „Shut up, kid. You will see soon enough.“, the cop wasn‘t exactly friendly, but at least the tone of his voice was warmer, than the voice of the cop on nightshift had been. Another Sigh escaped Murphys throat as the second cop took the other seat in the front row. Soon after the car was started.


	3. Youth of the Nation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter from Bellamys POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song of this Chapter: P.O.D. - Youth of the Nation
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDKwCvD56kw

Bellamy was a protective person. As long as he could remember, he had always been looking after someone. First it had only been his little sister, later it had been his girlfriends. He already did have quite alot of them, even tho he had just turned twenty-one. He wasn‘t proud of this fact, but all of the women he had liked in the end found his protectiveness too overbearing. By now he had made the decision, that falling in love with anybody was not worth the hassle. He loved his job tho. Being protective as a guard was not a problem, infact it was part of the job description.

 

It was his third week now on the job. Bellamy was a guard at the psyche ward of Stafford Asylum, that meant he needed to have strong nerves. It was similar to working in a prison and yet it was quite different. It was particularly different, because the psyche ward he guarded was for young psychologically motivated criminals. Probably they had picked him for the job, because he himself was still young. Perhaps they had hoped, that was give him a closer connection to the inmates. As if they would listen to him, simply because he was younger than the other guards. He thought that idea was ridiculous. It wasn‘t age what made people connect to you, but personality, not that he would tell that to his bosses.

 

Right now he was waiting. A new patient had arrived two hours earlier and someone needed to show him around. That duty had fallen to him, thus he was waiting for the young man to finish processing. They hadn‘t told him a whole lot about the boy, only that his name was Murphy and he had done some violent crime, which they didn‘t specify. It wasn‘t important to him anyway. Of course he was curious about what the kids did to end up in Stafford, but in the end it didn‘t matter. In the end, he treated all of them the same way, with professional distance. At least that was what he tried, it wasn‘t always easy, especially when he was sitting guard in the therapy rooms and he heard their stories. Most of the inmates had been through shit. He probably could have written an amazing novel about it, if he hadn‘t signed a contract to keep everything he heard in Stafford strictly confident. Not that he was a great writer anyway.

 

His eyes kept staring holes into the grey-bricked wall, that was lining the hallway. When he had started working here, there had been pictures hanging on it. That was before the incident with Jasper happened. He didn‘t like to think about it alot, the boy had lost lots of blood that night and hadn‘t been allowed to leave his cell alone since then. It was good that they had the hospital next door to stitch him up tho. It sucked that the pictures were gone now, tho. It made waiting only even more boring. Bellamy sighed and shifted his weight from the left to his right foot. If only he was more patient, then time would have passed quicker. But the more annoyed he got about waiting, the longer the time took, till that boy was finally was done with checking in.

 

When the door finally opened, Bellamy felt as if he had been waiting for hours, when in truth he had only been standing for twenty minutes. Now it was time for him to move and welcome the new patient, so he entered the little office of Dr. Griffin, the leading psychiatrist of this station. „Ah Mr. Blake.“, she welcomed him. Clad in that white doctors gown, she looked quite stern, but Bellamy knew she actually cared about her work and her patients and in her book that made her one of the good ones. „Doctor Griffin.“, he greeted with a nod, then eyed the person sitting opposite of the Dr. in a wooden chair. There he was a boy, nearly eighteen, bustling brown hair, slim, leaned over, dressed in black jeans and an equally black hoodie with a dark read hood. Bellamy only saw his back. „This is Mr. Murphy.“, the doctor spoke on and gestured at the boy, who in turn stood up and turned to Bellamy. „Yo..“, the young man spoke, „So… you‘re my guard then?“ Murphy kept his lips lightly open and lifted his chin in expectation of an answer, he was furrowing his brow tho.

 

„Your guard?“, Bellamy examined the face of the guy now. He had quite intresting features, steel-blue eyes, soft lips and a striking nose. „I don‘t think that you own me. But yes I am one of the guards of Stafford, welcome.“, the older man had to grin, especially as the younger one gave him a lightly annoyed glare, at the nitpicking of his words. „I‘m here to show you around your new home. So let us leave the doctor alone Mr. Murphy!“, said and done. Bellamy came closer to John and took him by the upper arm. He was used to the annoyed sideways glance he got whenever he did that with one of the new inmates. It was odd, the patients were all so different, but in those little things they were all similar.

 

Dr. Griffin was already busy again with her work, when Bellamy and Murphy left the room. The boy had already went through the security checks, when the police had brought him there. So all that was really left for him to do was to be a guidance. „Welcome to Stafford then, Mr. Murphy. I could tell you a story about it‘s history if you‘d like. But...“- „No.“-“I thought so.“, their little exchange made him grin. „Then I will tell you about the layout instead.“, as he spoke he lead Murphy down the hallway. „Stafford Asylum consists of many stations. You are in the medium security area. Our building consists of four floors. Right now we are on the ground floor. This is where all your therapy rooms, the doctor offices and the kitching and dining room are located. The other inmates will show you exactly how to get to where you need to be. For now I just give you a rough idea.“, the kid huffed at his explanation and slowly moved the hood over his head. „Boring...“, he said, Bellamy another glare.

 

This one was cocky, he couldn‘t have that. So he squeezed the young mans arm a little firmer and pulled him along until they reached the part of the ward where two hallways left. There he went left and dragged Murphy along with him up one floor. The kid didn‘t say a word, he didn‘t even try to defend. So perhaps he was not cocky after all? Bellamy wasn‘t sure, he didn‘t know what to make of the teenager yet. „Second Floor we have everything for your entertainment. Sports, a room for card and board games, a library, even a small cinema.“, these were all the things the kids would not really have alot of time to use while they were here. This time there was no reaction from Murphy, perhaps the arm squeezing had been sucessful. But looking at the guy it seemed most likely that he was just tired, deep rings were taking shape under the teens eyes. „Fine. So there is not much to say about floors three and four. Both are cell floors, the guys on the top floor, the girls below that one.“, Murphy snorted as he heard that. „As it should be...“, he grinned, but Bellamy only rolled his eyes. If his sister would have hurt that, Murphy now would have a serious case of blue balls. But Octavia wasn‘t here and he was quite thankful for that. „You seem tired kid, let‘s get you to your cell.“ - „I‘m no kid...“, was the huffed response Bellamy got to which he only responded with a shrug.

 

As he lead Murphy another two floors up, he eased the grip on his arm again lightly. Luckily the kid had gotten one of the cells close by the staircase, they only needed to turn right where the hallways met, then Bellamy opened the first cell to the left. „This is your room.“, he gently pushed a cooperating Murphy inside. All the cells in Stafford looked the same, there was a small extra chamber for a toilet left of the entrance. Past that the inmates room opened up. There was a desk on the left wall, while the bed was placed on the far end of the room on the right side. Each room also had a window, which was barred, but still let a little bit of daylight shine into the room. At the foot end of the bed there was a wardrobe and a shelf, where the inmates could place their belongings. Murphy still didn‘t say a word, but he seemed to be impressed as he looked around, he probably had expected something worse.

 

„Make yourself at home, for today there is nothing planned for you other than arriving. Tomorrow you will have breakfast with your group.“, Bellamy spoke and realized he would need to explain further, „We do have several smaller groups here, who visit the different therapies together. You are in a group with Jasper and Nathan. There will also be another boy coming into your group at the end of the week. You will see, they are all nice people.“, Murphy huffed at the idea and muttered something, which Bellamy didn‘t quite get. „What did you say?“- „Nothing..“, now he got a clear response and once again that kid stared. It seemed to be that ones thing, staring that was or perhaps it just felt that way, because those steel-blues were so piercing. Of course he didn‘t believe that the kid had said nothing, but he wasn‘t a psychologist, he was a guard, so he just left it at that. For now he had done what was expected of him. „If you need anything, there is a bell by the door.“, he finished, then watched Murphy for a moment as he sat down on his new bed. The teenager didn‘t have any baggage, but nobody who came here really had. Most of what the patients owned here came from the hospital. Living in the psyche ward wasn‘t easy, but at least the people who worked here really tried to make a change for the inmates. Bellamy did at least, he felt for them. He tried not to, but he couldn‘t just switch off compassion, he just had to handle it professionally. So as soon as he felt that touch of emotions welling up in him, he stepped out of the cell and locked it behind him, first with two keys, then with a bolt.

 

 

„Welcome again to Stafford..“, he mouthed those words only, he doubted that Murphy could hear them. The young man seemed unsurprisingly like a trouble maker. Quite different to Jasper, the first inmate he had been allowed to take on the guid. WhileJasper had seemed innocent that day, as if he did not belong in this place, the boy he had brought in today spread a whole different atmosphere. He hoped they would get along. They were cell neighbours after all and even tho the walls were thick, you could hear many things in total silence. Those kids at Stafford, they needed each other, because oftentimes they had nobody else. Bellamy would make sure to cheer them on silently, but for now his shift was coming to an end, so he slowly made his way down the stairs towards the guard rooms.


	4. Insomnia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast at the psyche ward.

It was way after midnight. Sleeping was the plan. But it was a plan that did not really work for several reasons. The most simple reason was, that the full moon was shining through the window of his cell, it was irritating to say the least. Even outside he would have had trouble sleeping and now it was his first night in psyche ward, which was just a few degrees off from prison. Secondly his mind was racing. He was thinking about how ironic it was, that he ended up here. One of the psychos. They had called him that all the time at school, even before he went on his spree of madness. They had said it so often that he had taken pride in being called that way. Normies were boring after all, a little insanity only made the person more interesting. Still he wasn’t really feeling comfortable in this place, he felt observed. Like a test subject of some kind.

 

But his thoughts weren’t the prime reason for his restlessness either. With enough tiredness he would still have fallen asleep. But he simply couldn’t, because there was this loud crying coming from the neighbouring room. Whoever that crying kid was, he had been at it for the last hour at least and none of Murphys knocks on the wall had really calmed him down. He even had called “Shut up!” at the wall a few times, but there had been no response. This was a Madhouse alright, but where were the night guards and nurses, who took care of such things? Those cries weren’t cries of sadness either, that guy sounded like he was in serious pain and he was coughing, like he was having a panic attack.

 

If only they weren’t locked away. If only he could have walked over to the other boy. That kid needed comfort, a hug preferably. Not that Murphy was the one to give hugs. Whoever said that was a liar. Other people did not deserve that honor, the world was full of assholes. Instead he probably would have beaten the cry baby silent. Murphy nodded at that idea and punched the flat palm of his right hand, before turning around in his bed, putting the pillow over his head. That helped, at least a little bit. There was still a little noise he couldn’t block, but he could pretend it was the sheeps that he started to count in his mind. What a strategy, it was old, but it worked. After he had counted about 100 sheeps jump out of a dropping ship, he finally drifted to a late sleep.

 

-

 

“H-hey, wake up...”, his sleep had not only been late, it had also been short. The sun had not even risen when he was woken up by a timid voice. Timid enough to not make him jump straight up. Instead Murphy leaned his body forward slowly to eye the boy standing in the door. Yeah, that voice fitted him. Kids sweater was much too big, as were his trousers. The boy didn’t even wear shoes either, but some weird crocodile slippers. “I’m Jasper...”, as the kid said his name Murphy looked tiredly up to the boys baby face. Curly hair, pale skin, full lips, clean shaven and brown eyes, that seemed tired and reddish. “You were the crier...”, Murphy stated matter-of-factly and rose from his bed, now noticing that there was a bearded and huge guard standing behind the boy. Jasper only ducked and didn’t respond instead he seemed to be suddenly quite interested in his crocodile slippers. “I-I, listen, I am only supposed to get you. Like… you dress, then meet me at the stairs. We’re going to eat breakfast together. M-Miller will join us.”

 

Murphy rolled his eyes as Jasper turned around and walked away while the guard kept eyeing him through the door. “Fine”, he muttered and dressed himself quickly, with the same stuff he had worn yesterday. He did not really care about the guard watching him put on his clothes, that was they guys job after all. He still hurried, because as much as he would have liked to deny it, he was curious for what the day would bring to him. As he was done, he quickly left his cell and passed the guard to join Jasper at the stairs. “I hope I will get more clothes later, I have been wearing these for the last two days.”, Murphy addressed Jasper, who only nodded while making a step backwards as he was being approached keeping his distance, “D-don’t… I am bad...”, he spoke and pointed at the distance between them, looking like a scared rabbit. Murphy raised his eyebrows at that, then huffed, crossing his arms. He was about to answer, when he noticed another figure that approached them from the distance. “Don’t mind Jasper, he is our China doll..”, the approaching figure spoke from thin lips. This one looked older than both of them, not by much and perhaps it was only the beard doing it, but still it was quite visible. “I’m Nathan Miller, and now our group is three, I see. Am I not quite the poet?”, the black, short-haired guy smirked. John frowned at him, “Murphy...”, he introduced himself by surname only. Before any conversation could start, they were interrupted by Jasper “We go down eat now!”, he demanded and started to walk. The guard motioned the other two to follow. He ushered them two floors down the staircase, then forward into a big room, where many tables were aligned.

 

“Food!”, Miller spoke in an excited voice. The tables were filled with all kind of breakfast goodies: marmalade, chocolate, butter, sausages, eggs and baskets holding bread rolls. Murphys eyes widened lightly, this was more and looked better than any breakfast he every had at home. He grinned and followed Jasper to a table on the other corner of the room. “Wow, this place is nicer than I thought.”, John spoke as he sat down on the opposite side of the table. Jasper only sunk his head, but Miller answered as he took a seat next to Murphy: “Don’t get too excited, breakfast is amazing, but dinner is a downer most of the time.”, Nathan giggled and took a bread roll as well, “So what brings you here?”, a question followed and John was about to answer, when he felt the table shake as Jasper hit it with his palm flat down, “We don’t talk about that without a therapist around, you signed that too, Nathan!”, so he could speak without the stutter. “Woa, Jordan don’t be a dick.”, Miller huffed and continued putting butter on his bread roll. “S-sorry..”, Jasper sunk his head again. “Uhm, so anyway. We are your group, Group D. That’s what you need to know if you look at the schedule. The first thing we always have after breakfast is reflection. Like you talk about your last day and the plans you have for the current one.”, Miller explained and Murphy listened. He was not really used to all the attention he was getting. He always had been a loner and outsider. Not that he wanted to be, it just always turned out that way. Years of that had made John kind of wary of other humans, so he wasn’t sure if he could trust the peace. It was better to stand back as much as he could.

 

“Hey...”, suddenly there was a voice coming from behind his back and John turned to look over his shoulder. “Ah, yesterdays guard.”, he acknowledged Bellamys presence with a nod. “First night over, I see.” This was getting worse by the second, John thought. He was no fan of small talk and now he had two people talking to him at once. He wasn’t even sure why he engaged in it, it just happened: “Yeah, night was okay. Of course there is the fact that someone was crying all night and I’m shit tired now, but besides of that...”, Murphy grinned to Bellamy, then looked back to Jasper, who just looked down to the table as he was eating his bread roll with marmalade. “You okay Jordan?”, Bellamy asked. Murphy felt surprised as the guard actually was able to connect the pieces and even more surprised about the fact, that he cared. Jasper on the other hand seemed to get quite nervous and John eyed the other boy as he started to shiver. “A-a-all, I m-mean, every-everything is fine.”, John heard a sigh next to his ear coming from Miller. “You sure? You know you can always call us guards or even the nurses if something is not fine, right?”, Bellamy spoke, unaware of emotions he would provoke. A second later Jasper had risen to once again slam his palm down on the table, this time he followed it by storming towards the outside. “Jasper!”, Bellamy called towards him. But the boy didn’t intend to stop, so the guard started to follow him to the outside, leaving Miller and him alone.

 

“Not cool, man.”, Miller spoke sounding a little disappointed. “What?”, John huffed and turned to face the other boy left on the table. “Jasper got problems, heck we all do. But now the story will get to the doctors and you know they will pester him about it. Perhaps they make him stay even longer.”, Nathan explained, but John only shrugged, “Well good, perhaps they will do something about it then. Crying all night for no reason at all, that is something the doctors should know.”, he raised his voice a little as he answered. “Is there no reason?”, Nathan spoke and frowned, before rising from his seat, “I’m going after him. You go ask someone else to lead you to where we need to be.”, with those words spoken he made his exit as well leaving Murphy alone. Now this was more like he was used to. He eyed the large table full of food and sighed deeply, before continuing his breakfast.


End file.
